The Backwoods

Where we teeter between our love of modern convenience and the yearning for something long past; a world where neighbors knew your name and a “Friend Request” was eye contact and a smile.

You Aint Dead!

Posted · 12 Comments

Once on an episode of COPS, a woman, upon being arrested, was throwing a Made-For-TV tantrum when her mother, giant breasts sagging out the sides of her tank top, cigarette hanging from one side of her mouth, drawled, “Shut up girl…you aint dead.”

You aint dead.

And ever since, when things are tough or one of us is whining, my husband or I will raise one eyebrow and remind the other, “You aint dead…”

So at 3:30 this morning as I’m scanning my Facebook home page, feeling sorry for myself that I can’t sleep, I come across a post by a fellow I follow named Ryan Woods.  Ryan, a man I guess to be somewhere in his thirty’s with a wife and two small children, is dying.  Ryan, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, while I’m lying in my comfortable bed dreaming about the next fifty years of my life, wrote a blog post called, “Dying and Entering Hospice”.
And suddenly the reality of the line with which we so casually joke, takes on new meaning.  Because soon, Ryan Woods will be just that. Dead.

I don’t even know how to write about his and his family’s heartbreak, a topic I can’t begin to understand.  And so I won’t do him or his family the disservice.

I’ll just put this DONATION link out there…in case anyone feels inclined. And a link to his CANCER WRITING in case you want to read his story. He’s funny and smart and even in the worst possible circumstances has undying faith.

And next time I’m feeling whiny or feeling like I got the raw end of the deal, I’ll think of Ryan when I tell myself, “Shut up girl…you aint dead.”

12 Responses to "You Aint Dead!"
  1. Gayle says:

    When I find myself bitching about my life I remind myself that the alternative is much worse. Breathing can sometimes be enough…..

  2. I just went to Ryan’s blog…it’s hard to read those words, after a day that has been hard in my family only because we were tired and angry for nothing with one another (hope it’s right in English). From now on “Aint dead” will be my motto too.

  3. RP says:

    This is just the kind of thing I needed to hear today…. to get back my focus. Thanks. Praying for his family.

  4. Jeanne says:

    Growing up my g’ma use to remind us we were still breathing and not to complain because she could change that for us. She was always a quirky woman. That same saying has carried over as I started raising my own children. (my boys however just roll their eyes when I say it… teenagers!)

  5. Pam Janssen says:

    It is the blessing hiding in the curse that is my ministry/profession as a funeral director. Thank you for writing this and providing the links.

  6. It’s all in the perspective, isn’t it? One of my best friends had diverticulitis and had to have part of his intestines removed in an emergency procedure. He was whining like crazy about the embarrassment of the bag and his wife told him to “shut up and shit in the bag, you’re still alive”. That’s been our favorite phrase for awhile so I love that this is so similar 🙂

  7. Kat says:

    That was just the reminder I needed this morning. Thank you.

  8. Momma G says:

    I have a dear friend in her 30’s who is dying and in hospice with 3 young boys and a Marine husband she will be leaving behind. I know how you feel on a personal level.

  9. Melissa says:

    I am headed over to read his blog now and pray for him and his family. It always takes the ‘final’ reminder to remind us that our lives are not as bad as they seem. So hard to remember.

  10. this has just put a lot of things in perspective. thank you.

  11. Rachel Fraga Watson says:

    Thank you for this reminder!! sometimes we think our lives are SO bad, then something hits us over the head and puts a perspective on it! this was one of those times for me! Life could be worse, we could be walking in their shoes!

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