A Simple Truth

Posted · 14 Comments

Tomorrow afternoon our son…will become our son. Legally, at least, though he’s been ours for four years.  I’m going to share a few words from a pre-adopt interview. Not to impede on his privacy, but because sometimes we forget that a child has a voice…if only we’d listen.

When asked about his birth family:

“I realize what they had done to me. They hurt me. I have a picture of them in my mind. I don’t want a picture. I have bad memories and I don’t want them. I can’t tell if he loved us at all. He had a problem with anger. What they did to me is not right. I have a bond with them…it’s a bond of not liking them. A kind of enemy bond. I have a reason to dislike them. They don’t deserve me. Not a chance.”

When asked about his new family:
“They are doing this right. I don’t get hit. I want to stay. They love me. You can tell how they act. They hug me goodnight. They say I love you. I’m not nervous about staying here. I don’t get glares like I’m not wanted. I don’t get hit…you should never hit a child. It feels safe to talk. They want me to feel happy. They make sure I’m where I need to be to feel good about myself. My new dad talks about protecting us…It means trust. They would save me. They would keep me from dangerous things. Family is a big bond.”

When describing a BAD family:

“Hitting. Running away. Harming the children. Not caring for me. Saying bad things. Not getting kids the things they need.”

When describing a GOOD family:

“Loving you.  Caring for you.  Watching out for the kids.  Defending the kids.  Get them things they need like food.  Doing things together.  Good to me.  Talk to me.  Teaching the kids.  Being a good influence.  Being there for you.”

I’m sharing this because I want us all to take note. He didn’t mention: Toys.  Video Games. Vacation.  Gifts. Or Money

.As we raise our children in this materialistic world, we often forget the difference between what they need…and what we think they need.  Because when it comes down to it, even the child knows that he needs to feel safe…and he needs to feel loved.  And that’s just about all that really matters.

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14 Responses to "A Simple Truth"
  1. Sara says:

    This child is wise beyond his years…

  2. Ndski says:

    May your family be Blessed with your son.  I think God had you in mind for him all along!

  3. Lildog says:

    Very powerful. I have been stressing over my oldest’s birthday (toys, video games, etc) and these words came at a perfect time!

  4. Gotituseit says:

    what a sweetheart. Thank you for sharing. So often we engage in such superficial conversation and never really know what lies below. Sometimes even with our own children. It is good to hear their words

  5. This absolutely made me cry and I don’t cry easily. I’m so happy for him that he and your family found each other……

  6. Katharyn Roberts says:

    Thank you for sharing this. The reality of life is so much less overwhelming when we realise something can be done, and amazing people like you are doing it, one kid at a time. Thank you, too, for highlighting it, I wouldn’t have looked, otherwise, and would have missed reading something that really matters.

  7. Dianaferrier says:

    Love this kid.  He’s telling it like it is.  Read your blog daily.  Keep us posted on what the doctors find out about Anthony.

    Diana Ferrier  (Renton, WA)

  8. Rivers3Lady says:

    Thank you for sharing part of your personal life.  Brought tears to my eyes and my heart almost exploded with love for you and your family.  Congrats on your ‘newest’ child.

  9. Rebecca Sirevaag says:

    Well, now.  That one made me cry.  Thank you for sharing.

  10. Stephanie says:

    Congratulations to you all!  Another great testimony to what truly matters. 

  11. Booksintheburbs says:

    Beautiful and inspiring to be the best mom I can be.  Every child needs to be heard and every parent should stop and listen.  Congratulations on Gotcha Day!!  Much to celebrate.

  12. Ryan Rickborn says:

    Powerful words, what a voice!  I pray protection over you all as the bond becomes legal.  May my son feel about his father and I what your son feels about and for you.  Thank you for sharing.

  13. MomPhD says:

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

  14. The Onion says:

    I love it, and I think I might love you guys a little too, even though we don’t know one another. Congratulations on getting it on paper, but I think this boy was yours from the start. 

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