Another Mother

Posted · 50 Comments

I’m sitting here at 11 p.m. the night before Mother’s Day.  Anthony, age 11, is here with me. He’s sleeping on the couch tonight so we’re talking. I asked him what he thinks about on Mother’s Day in regards to his birth family. As he spoke, I typed word for word (my kids are used to me multi-tasking)  This is what he had to say:

I think of my birth mom on Mother’s Day.  My birth mom had a really hard life. She not only had her kids taken away but she had one die.  And I know it’s her bad judgment but it’s still hard.

My birth mom, she probably misses us a lot. One thing I think she really did wrong is that she stayed with my birth dad. She had a chance to get us back by leaving him, but she didn’t go.  I don’t know why. I’ve actually wondered that a lot since I was taken. I’ve wondered how she feels about that decision. I mean, she picked one person instead of six kids.  I kind of have a hole in me, thinking my mom doesn’t even love me enough to keep me.

I know it’s her issue…but it’s my sadness.

My mom wears glasses, I think. She keeps her hair back and it’s not as soft as most peoples. I don’t remember what she looks like.  She likes horror movies, I know that. And she didn’t usually do much around us. She helped my dad cook and she watched movies. I didn’t really know her that much.  Other than sticking me to a t.v. and feeding me, she didn’t do much and I didn’t really know her any other ways.

I didn’t know my relatives. I never went on a vacation. I’d never been off of the Peninsula before. I didn’t pay attention much to where I was.  I didn’t care.  We moved a lot. I liked being around my sisters. Whenever I was actually really happy and having fun, I was with my sisters.

My dad wasn’t there when we were taken. They expected him to be there.  There were armed men outside. Not like military, but maybe policemen.  The one policeman that was closest to the door had his hand on his gun. That’s when I ran to my mom. The doorbell rung and my mom started screaming, “Don’t take them, don’t take them.”  That’s all I remember about that.  My older sister wasn’t there cause my dad was taking her to the hospital because of when he hurt her face. The thing that gets me is that I never wondered why she was gone. She was usually home.

I was in a guy’s car. I think he worked for the police but he didn’t have a police car. He had one of those magnet things like a police siren. One of those red flashing ones.  I messed with his handcuffs.

We had a one room house with a bathroom. That’s all. We slept on mattresses on sleeping bags all in the same room. I never had my own bed before until I came here. We used to have a bigger house but I don’t know why we left that one. I don’t even know where it was. We didn’t stay there very long. I was small then, maybe four. After that we moved into a house where the floor was rotting so you’d have to be careful where you stepped or you would fall through. Even when you couldn’t see the rot, my sister would fall right through the floor.  We had lots of land there, maybe half an acre.  After that we moved to Homer and we lived in that little one room house. It was fun there because I had an uncle there, and nothing was wrong with him except he got drunk a lot. I had an aunt there too. I don’t think there was anything wrong with her like everyone else.  She was good.

I wonder how my sisters feel on my birthday. Maybe they don’t know my birthday. I don’t know theirs.  I used to know every body’s birthday except my dads. We didn’t really celebrate. We were just happier on that day and treated that person really good. My dad gave extra licorice.

My dad was sometimes a nice guy. Sometimes you didn’t want to be around him at all. I’m going to talk about when he was being nice. He always promised to me that if I ate half my vegetables, I could have a piece of licorice.  But usually we ate on a cardboard box, so I just put the vegetables inside the cardboard box. He never found out.  He kept alternating jobs. The longest I think he ever held one of his jobs was maybe three months. He had a good job. He worked in a cubicle in business with some other guys, so I considered that good. He never came home with rash reports, he never came home angry from that job. It must have been good. I guess he was fired.

I never really got hit much by my dad at all. I don’t know why, but he usually took it all out on my sisters.  He once hit her for chopping onions wrong. That really annoyed me. He took my breath once when he hit me and my sister blew air into my mouth. I told you about that before.

Mom? Want to hear the poem I wrote for you for Mother’s Day? (gets out his Nook where he keeps notes he writes…)

Mothers day is a day to do all the work

While she lays back with a smirk

You give her cookies and make her cake

That way she doesn’t have to bake

She watches us work a part

While she eats her cinnamon pop tart

This day is for you mom,

 I love you with all my heart.

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50 Responses to "Another Mother"
  1. I am new to your site (Hello!), but I just wanted to say that this is a beautiful child and reading his words just melted my heart. I have three children and reading this has made me appreciate them even more and every little crazy thing they do. God bless. 🙂

  2. ruth williamson says:

     my guys got “taken” before they were old enough to remember most of that.  i still wonder if it would be better if they really knew…..the day they really ask me the “Why” question, I still don’t totally know how to tell them, since I’ve always tried to paint their birth parents in a positive light.  some day i guess i’ll have to explain more, but for now, they seem satisfied with shorter answers.

  3. Quiltersr says:

    Oh my goodness…my heart just broke…then I felt wonderful when he ended with his sweet poem. I am an adopted person too…biology doesn’t always make good families…Love does! Thank you for sharing!

  4. Nicontherun says:

    My son is 11, as well — and I read your post having just tucked him into bed for the night. We talk each night about what we’re thankful for, and though we’ve never met, I’m so thankful that you’ve shared your journey with us all. You’re an incredible mom…with some amazing kids!!

  5. Karinda Perdon says:

    What a heartbreaking story; he couldn’t understand why his mother choose someone over her babies. I am happy that he is in a home where he is wanted and loved.

  6. Jessica Corcoran says:

    tears….. Beautiful and moving like always

  7. Diana says:

    <3 Bless his heart. Bless you for being his mom. 

  8. Sharminigossman says:

    You birthed him out of your heart.  You are blessed to have found each other.  God bless you both

  9. gramma_bettie_mae_turley says:

    ooohhhhh keri . . . you are one special momma!!! thanks for sharing another heart-felt story of your precious anthony!!!

  10. Kerrypollard131 says:

    Wow! Just wow.

  11. John Steinbeck says:

    Kind of puts things in perspective doesn’t it?

    Happy Mother’s Day…..

  12. A lot of us Moms are loving you just for who you are, Anthony–and so grateful you have Kiri!

  13. Cheryl says:

    Took my breath away. Happy mothers day…

  14. Meganhoberman says:

    Tears in my eyes. what a wonderfully thoughtful boy.

  15. Chelsie says:

    Such a great kid <3 Happy Mother's Day!

  16. OK, you did it again.  Another great one!

  17. Laurel says:

    Children are amazing.  

  18. Vansoolen says:

    What a sweet, sweet boy. What a sweet, sweet mother he has in you 🙂 Thank you for sharing, I hugged all of my six kids a little bit closer and harder because of it.

  19. Fatherhood Isn't For Wimps says:

    Wow, You would never know that your life was so rough bu looking through the window of your current adult life. You have turned out well. I am sorry for your past. It seems that you made the right choices and took the right path as a mom…  Cheers to you… : ) FIFW

  20. MAC says:

    Wow, that Anthony is one special boy.  This made me all teary eyed.  You all are so lucky to have each other! Happy Mother’s Day Backwoods Mom you are wonderful! 

  21. Carolyn C says:

    Wow, Luke has come a long way in a very short time.  You have an amazing son.  Happy Mother’s Day, it is well-deserved.

  22. Middlehaddamjudy says:

    What a special boy! I wish lots of love & success for his future!

    • Packerbacker2 says:

      Oh dear. This brought tears to my eyes. He is soooo very precious. A very special young man there. Happy Mothers Day!

  23. Shirley says:

    Ditto to all the comments.  You are so blessed to have each other!  Have a great Mother’s Day, Keri!

  24. Pat says:

    Wow – what a story, which made me cry.  Cute poem, which made me smile.

  25. Lori says:

    Another post by you that brings tears to my eyes, though I don’t usually comment. I am a former foster care and then children’s community mental health social worker. I can say that there are PRECIOUS FEW people like you and your husband who are willing to care for these kids whom, so often, everybody else is afraid to try with. Thank you for loving them and caring for them. I hope you have a wonderful mother’s day.

  26. Missdsday says:

    Wow.  Good kid, thanks for taking care of him.

  27. Skibones04 says:

    I am so thankful for wounderful people like you who take in these children and show them what love is. My parents were foster parents, so I thought of myself as a foster sister. I thought about each child as a sibiling to me. I hope that you have a wonderful Mothers Day with your wonderful children!

  28. nancy says:

    and because of you and your husband he is okay to grow up and be happy.. He is an amazing kid..

  29. Patti Wiggs says:

    God bless you and your dear children deeply and richly.

  30. Mum2Em&TJ says:

    Whenever you share a piece of your children’s wisdom, I thank God for all my blessings and yours.  Happy Mother’s Day!!

  31. What a lucky mom you are to have him for your son. You have got to be proud to death of him. Well done, Mom. Well done.

  32. Bobbyspain says:

    i know a good bit about what he says . you probably saved his life in more than one way . i bet you went to bed crying over the poem . its a great thing that he can express his feelings that way . to him that shows security .

  33. carolinachrissy says:

    I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day, BW Mom!  Your thoughtfulness in your blog really gets my neurons dancing.  So many emotions are stirred up in reading of the paths your children have taken to get to their resilient states.  Thank you for being their Mom.  You’re a gem!  Your friend in Germany…

  34. Swygant says:

    Powerful words from a beautiful boy. Happy Mother’s Day!

  35. Vertical Mom says:

    That’s a pretty amazing kid you’ve got there…but, I think you already knew that 😉

  36. Mjsmamma says:

    This brought me to tears. Sweet boy. I hope the hole in his heart is filled someday with the knowledge of the love and sacrifice you have made for him. That although his birth Mother didn’t choose him, you did. Please hug him and tell him it’s from the lady who lives in the city with the great big arch, and have him you back from me too. Happy Mother’s Day.

  37. Lynnea says:

    wow
    another post that makes me cry and want to go hug my son (he is at a campout with Dad this morning for Boy Scouts) 

  38. Pbardusch says:

    That is amazing.  You are a wonderful mom for taking him from that place.  It is just so sad; we really have no idea the journey of people we come in contact (or not)  with every day.   Thank you for giving him a safe place where he feels free to be open, honest, and loved.  Happy Mother’s Day!

  39. Clota Lynn says:

    That just melted my heart… I’m so glad he has you!

  40. Miranda ROller says:

    Now that is a post.  What a beautiful little soul you have with you.  Thank you for loving him…I can tell that you do.  Happy Mothers Day!

  41. catherine says:

    Wow. Thanks for writing that down and being you. Gratitude is the word that comes to mind. Gratitude is what I use to make my life work. It’s  the tool I found in one of my darkest hours. So I am really grateful that you wrote that and shared it. I am grateful that you are there for him. I am grateful that he can speak about his life in that clear way.  I am grateful that I never lived in a house where I had to worry about falling through the floor. I am grateful for the internet. 

  42. Karen Loe says:

    Lovely Lovely Lovely

  43. Terrileman says:

    Thank God for you Keri!
     

  44. Rinda Lawson says:

    wow is all I can say. I am glad he has you! Happy Mother’s Day and enjoy the pop tart, lol.

  45. Xtrem Ways says:

    Happy Mother’s Day

  46. Heidi says:

    That is pretty special. Hugs to you both.

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