Battle Scars

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Tonight while making dinner, the boys were swapping scar stories, as boys do. Steven showed off a rugged mark of a playground fall and Luke talked about a scrape from an old porch board.  Anthony nodded his head forward to show them one in his hairline and said, “My birth dad told me one story […]

Revival–by Anthony

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It’s about 11:30 at night and Anthony just knocked on my bedroom door to show me a poem he’d written.  This work will make more sense if you’ve read other things about or by Anthony.  See a list of links at the bottom of this page.  Here’s what he handed me… My memories are broken… […]

Another Mother

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I’m sitting here at 11 p.m. the night before Mother’s Day.  Anthony, age 11, is here with me. He’s sleeping on the couch tonight so we’re talking. I asked him what he thinks about on Mother’s Day in regards to his birth family. As he spoke, I typed word for word (my kids are used […]

Blockbuster Babies

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My daughter Destini wrote this for a class this year…I thought it was really good so I thought I’d share. Destini is eighteen years old and a senior in high school.                 In most cases, “you’re going to have a new sibling” is a surprising, exciting, interesting, unusual experience […]

Damn Her

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  A while back I had Billy into the local clinic for a sports physical.  The doctor scanned his chart, did some quick work with his stethoscope, and said, “How long has it been since he has seen the heart specialist?” “A few years,” I said.  “They told me it was nothing to worry about.” […]

Adoption Day

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In February of this year our family grew by two when Steven and Luke came to live with us.  Tomorrow morning, the 19th of December, 2011, we welcome them into our family permanently in the Homer, Alaska courthouse. These guys aren’t complicated kids. They don’t understand the size of the world and they don’t know […]

The Root Of All…

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This morning Anthony asked if any of his birth relatives had been approved for visits…like an uncle or cousin.  When I asked why, he said, “I’d kinda like to know my roots.” Roots. By definition the root is the foundation.  It is the beginning, the base.   It is the fundamental cause or essence of something…the […]

You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby!

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  Four years ago…don’t be fooled by that cherubic face! Anthony got a citation at school today.  He walked in the door and without hesitation explained to me why it wasn’t his fault and the teacher was wrong. She always is. I’m surprised she still has a job with all the times she’s wrongly disciplined […]

The Unfixable

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He was fifteen when he came to me.  And even on the first day I knew he couldn’t stay. I knew it wasn’t the right fit… he was broken beyond repair and a danger to the other children. I could see it in his eyes…he was ruined. I know that sounds callous…but it’s the reality. […]

My Lost Boy

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Written in February, 2007… Edited in June, 2011, for confidentiality…               As I step into the small room I am greeted with the smell of boy.  It’s a common smell to mothers.  Dirt and candy.  The boy’s room is like other eleven year olds; even if he’s not.  I plop his clean clothes down on […]

I Am From…

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In school this year, Billy was assigned to create a video called, “I Am From” that told the story of who he is.  Each slide was supposed to start with “I Am From” and there were requirements as to what kinds of pics he had to have.  Some modifications were made by his teacher, because […]

Father’s Day

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With Father’s Day upon us, I’ve spent some time trying to put together a piece about what makes a “father” become a “dad”.  I’ve scribbled down some poetic mumbo-jumbo.  I’ve come up with some passable ideas.  But the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became, wondering…what is the definition of a good […]

My Overcoming One

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The tiny boy with the bright blue eyes Looked up and said to me Can I live here a long, long time? Three months, if you’d agree. Three months? I said, to the blue eyed boy That isn’t long you see, For an eight year old to have a mom… A dad…a family. He looked […]

Robin Wonders

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I rarely talk with my long term kids about their early childhood in front of the other kids.  For some reason I’ve always hesitated…I didn’t really know why.  But one day I told the story of when Mya was a toddler and she was afraid of the moon outside her bedroom window.  We all had […]

This I Believe

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My daughter, Robin, came to us when she was six years old.  We were her tenth family.  This year for a school project she created a piece for a website called, “This I Believe”.  This is her story, completely unedited. THIS I BELIEVE By Robin Riley Ninilchik Middle School, 7th grade There are kids in […]

And Justice For Ally

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She felt the pull of death and it was welcome.  She lay silent, worn from screaming, her voice unheard as she lay in the shallow box.  She saw him coming, smelled him above her before he came into her blurred site.  She didn’t curl into herself.  She couldn’t.  There was a time when her body […]

Against All Odds

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    Found in Cooper Landing, Alaska…fighting it’s way thru the asphalt “Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature’s law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet Funny it seems, but keeping it’s dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air Long live the […]

A Simple Truth

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Tomorrow afternoon our son…will become our son. Legally, at least, though he’s been ours for four years.  I’m going to share a few words from a pre-adopt interview. Not to impede on his privacy, but because sometimes we forget that a child has a voice…if only we’d listen. When asked about his birth family: “I […]

I Remember Her

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I remember the way her hair smelled when I tucked her in under my arm.  How she snuggled so close, trying to crawl back into the womb from which she did not come. I can feel her fragile arms wrapped around mine, her tiny beating heart pulsing against my side as she lay her soft […]

Adoption Pending

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He came to us in the summer, four years ago with a chip on his shoulder, a mouth with no filter, and a yearning for something solid.  Just six years old, he’d seen things…oh yes, he’d seen some things. The parents’ rights have been terminated.  The threat of reunification is long past and his memories […]