The Backwoods

Where we teeter between our love of modern convenience and the yearning for something long past; a world where neighbors knew your name and a “Friend Request” was eye contact and a smile.

Children Will Remember

Posted · 106 Comments

As parents, we spend our lives trying to be good enough.  Trying to keep up.  We worry that we’ve failed.  We worry that we’ve screwed up our kids to the point of no return because somehow we’ve not been good enough…as parents.  But let me explain something.

Our children will not remember their childhood the way we think they will.

They won’t remember if your hair was doing that ‘woohoo’ thing at their Christmas concert.  They will remember that when they entered the gym, their eyes scanned the bleachers and locked with yours.

They won’t notice if they found their cereal bowl in the cupboard or in the dishwasher or even if they had to wash it themselves once in a while.  They will remember that on Sundays, you made happy face pancakes.

They won’t have a clue that one Christmas you were flat broke and they got fewer toys.  They will remember that you made them a quilt out of old t-shirts and they will use it to swaddle their own children.

They will not remember that you cleaned and scrubbed while they were playing outside.  They will remember that once you knelt in the dirt pile and vroomed Hotwheels with them all afternoon.

They will not see the holes in their jeans, care about mismatched socks, or remember what brand of purse you carried.  They will remember the smell of daddy’s t-shirt he let them wear to bed…long after he’s gone.

They won’t remember going to the theater with friends.  They will remember being pressed against your thigh on the couch, watching a movie, one hand in the popcorn bowl.

They won’t remember that you didn’t hike as fast as they did.  They will remember that you climbed to the top of the steepest mountain, just to show them the view.

They will never recall the smell of the fancy dinners you prepared on the holidays.  They will remember  every single hotdog they cooked over an open fire and the way you knew they didn’t like mustard.

They won’t care if their bed was never made or that the blanket didn’t match their curtains.  They will remember the way it felt when you tucked the blankets around them and called them a burrito baby.

They will not care what you looked like in a swim suit.  They will remember that you went on the field trip to the pool anyway and were the one parent who didn’t sit to the side and watch.

They will not have lifelong damage from mud overdose.  They will remember the way the ooze felt between their toes and the look on your face when you found them…and joined in.

SO step away from the dishes.  Leave that pile of laundry on the couch, forget about homework once in a while.  Unclench your jaw and relax.  That’s what I’m going to try to do.

Because when I am old and I am gray, and I cannot do the things that I can do today…my children will not remember that my dishes were foul.  My children will remember that I could run…I could whoop…and I could howl.

 
 
106 Responses to "Children Will Remember"
  1. Jen says:

    I really appreciated this article. But, I also think we have to be careful not to “guilt” moms who want to provide a reasonably clean home, healthy meals, clean clothes, etc. to their children. As mothers, we have MANY responsibilities. I think it is all about balance. Playing with your children is important, for sure! But perhaps they might feel overwhelmed/nervous living amidst clutter and dishes from 2 days ago….it’s not an “either/or”. You can give your children attention and also keep up with the house, meals, laundry, etc. A home is a haven, nothing wrong with wanting to provide a comfortable living environment for your children. They might not be able to pinpoint it, but a clean, organized home just FEELS nicer than a messy, cluttered one. Just my perspective.

  2. Ed Sherman says:

    Today at almost 75yr you have brought to my memory many of the things I remember about my mom and dad. Thanks for the memories

  3. Raising Natural Kids says:

    I love this! thank you! Shared with my FB fans at Raising Natural Kids! They love it too!

  4. Julie says:

    This made me tear up – Thank you so much for writing this 🙂

  5. Jonathan Edwards says:

    Thank you for writing this… it hit home for me because I am a Daddy to a beautiful three year-old little girl. Sometimes I find myself obsessing too much about keeping things clean that I forget to just relax, have fun, and make memories. Just the other day we went on a walk and she was jumping in the puddles; I stepped back so as not to stain my pants. But next time I will jump in with her because I can always buy more pants, but I can’t get this time back with her. I want to be a more sensitive Dad and this gave me perspective on how to do just that. So as I wipe tears from my face, I again say thank you, for helping me be a better Dad.

  6. Catherine J says:

    With regards to Teana’s comments, it wonder if it is a cultural thing. I don’t know – but in some cultures looking ‘right’, having the right clothes etc, is more important. I’ve lived in a few different countries and in some kids are teased for looking different, whereas in others, this is much less of an issue.
    I grew up with a great Mom who spent time with us, read us bedtime stories, played with us, loved us and still encourages us today as a grown men and women. We had very little money, but a lot of love and I know that this is what counts. My partner is far more hung up on money and things and that makes me sad, but he tells me it is growing up in a different country where he was picked on for having second-hand clothes.
    I am very glad that I learnt it is not about what you have, or being the perfect parent, but cherishing time with your kids and creating great moments together. I know there is a lot of pressure to be ‘perfect’, but it is good to be reminded (thank you, Backwoods Mom) that maybe being a ‘perfect’ parent (if such a thing even exists) isn’t what we might traditionally think it is.

  7. Sally says:

    This made me shed a tear as I remembered the smell of my dad’s T-shirt! I try to remember these lessons, and my daughter and I (she’s the ripe ol’ age of 12) already talk about the best days so far being the days we did “nothing.” Like the day this summer we played game after silly game in the pool..just the two of us. You are a wonderful writer!

  8. Sarah says:

    I get it, but really no one knows what their kids are going to remember or not. You just do the best you can. I remember a mix of negative and positive things about my parents and childhood. I’m sure I forget lots of great times my parents planned for me as well. Taking photos of the good times helps too I think. I think some of my memories are because of photographs and not actual memories.

  9. The Bonded Mom says:

    Love this!! 🙂

  10. Grammi7 says:

    You have hit the nail on the head! My children are in their 40’s and I marvel at their memories. It seems to me that the things I did just out of sharing myself and my heart are more precious to them then anything else.

  11. scott anderson says:

    ya but the important thing is that you are a happy kid that can stand up to people and be proud of what you are no matter what. it doesn’t matter what you look like, all that matters is who you are. I knew plenty of popular people in high school that wore close their brother wore the year before

  12. cristy says:

    Uhhhh… I was dreading being home tonight alone with my 4, but now I know that I’m going to make popcorn and stop and get them a redbox movie.

    This reminds me of being at my daughter’s Christmas concert this year and how nervous she looked when he class walked up, and how I held my hand to my ear to tell her to sing louder, and the way I immediately heard her (completely off key) belt it out with all her heart with a giant smile on her face… one of my best memories!

  13. Amber says:

    Thank you. I so needed this today. Due to several of us being sick this last week, including myself, the house is a disaster. Right now I am drinking coffee just to be functional today. My 3 year old was begging me to play Barbies with her and I was sitting here thinking of all the stuff I needed to do today and then found this. Thank you. I will be playing Barbies for awhile now, because these precious times will pass and I dont want to be left with regrets.

  14. Laurie Runs Life says:

    I LOVE this! I’m already that type of mom. I work from home and keep an insane schedule (ie. I work until midnight far too often) just so I can be at every soccer game and track meet and Christmas concert. I don’t style my hear, but I dye theirs pink for a cause just because they want me to, I don’t make amazing meals all the time, but I teach them how to cook so that together we have “masterpieces”. The little things mattered to me when I was a kid, and they are what matter to me as a mom. I actually hated that my mom spent so much time cleaning, and know that my boys would rather play a videogame with me, than alone while I sweep the floor.

  15. Jessica Knorr says:

    just another perspective…this posting talks about what your kids will remember. I lost my son to a car accident 18 months ago when he was 17 years old. A red light runner hit him and my husband. I am so glad I took the time to play cars with him. I took him to the park even though I had work to do. Spent hours hiking through the woods and days at the beach building sand castles. Went to all his band recitals in middle school. Stayed home to be a mom instead of getting a job even though that meant we had to sacrifice stuff other kids got (material items…never love). I still have two children. One who is 15 and one who is 21 and a granddaughter who is 3 months old. I cherish every single day I spend with my kids and now my granddaughter because I know I am not promised a tomorrow and neither are they. Make the memories today. Because they are important and your kids will cherish every single one of them when they are grown and on their own. And continue even when they are “grown” because they are still your babies inside and need just as much love and attention at 25 as they did at 5.

  16. Mlminnehan says:

    It’s too bad that many parents are so busy with their jobs that spending time with their children is almost impossible because they are tired and stressed.  Then there are parents that are so miserable in their marriages that the kids become invisible.  It’s so true that kids won’t remember the fancy house, clothes, etc.  It’s the time you spent with your children.  and…remember, kids learn what they see not what they hear!!!

  17. Sam says:

    I wish I could come stay with you… I have so few moments like this I started crying as I read this. Mom always got me the fancy toys, but all I ever wanted was her to come play with me and my teddy (or read with me… Reading usually). Now I’m considered “Too old” for that, but I miss it…

  18. This brought tears to my eyes, I have these memories with my parents (separately) and I hope that I can provide my son with the same! 

  19. amanda huggenkis says:

    ironically, i don’t remember seeing them at concerts. i remember them yelling at me in my sleep. i don’t remember dishes being anything but filthy and the house a disaster and my mother holed up in her room on the phone with a friend behind a locked door. i don’t remember as many happy times as i do sad. i remember fights between my parents and screaming behind slammed doors. they are still married. but hardly together. at a family gathering a few months ago my father growled to my mother in front of my two sons (10 and 8): “i hate you.” she sneered at him and laughed cruelly. he left her in her wheelchair at the table for an hour while we sang happy birthday to my nephew in another room — no one noticed. 

    so while i do try to let my hair down and loosen up, i’m more inclined to be more present and make the home more a home rather than a roof with doors. that means good meals together, an occasional disappointment, an occasional disagreement but most of all it means we are honest with each other and try try try to not have any expectations. 

  20. This is wonderful.  And Exactly what I needed to read today.  My son turns 6 today.  We haven’t organised a big party – just having lunch, and a cake, and my mum will be coming along.  The rest of the afternoon? We are going to spend it having fun!

  21. Meg648 says:

    This is so amazing, I love this post. It’s sometimes hard to keep things in perspective and this post did it for me. I think I will print this and hang it up in my house! Thanks so very much.

  22. Gracejimenez8 says:

    Absolutely perfectly written. Thank you for sharing, as we take a drive today to walk on the beach,
    My children still love to hold my hand, I will enjoy every moment and the look on their faces
    As we do exactly what they want, hands free except for my periodic capturing of the perfect
    Picture of them on the beach enjoying their mommy time if just for a little longer…
    They are 10 & 8 and still love doing things with me and since we are on Spring Break
    Together, I want it to be as memorable as possible.

  23. Margie W. says:

    I remember my Mom leaving a messy house to come play with me.  Well, I remember the yelling when my dad got home.  But what I really, truly remember is my Mom and the afternoon tea party.  She let me fix her hair (poor soul, that had to hurt), and do her make up (Freddy Krueger looked better when I was done) in order to be “fancy enough” for a blue kool aid tea party (pinkie out!) that 3 of my dolls were hosting at the coffee table in the living room.  My Mom rocks. 🙂

  24. Omarcastillo says:

    Wow great story and tips God bless you and Family merry Christmas

  25. Jtwashburn says:

    I’ve enjoyed this blog very much. My mom never had the time for me ( I was the 4th of 5 girls) to help me find what was good in me. Instead, she took the time in finding what was wrong with me and continuously pointing out to me how I was basically ‘worthless’. My sisters have dismissed me and I have been just way soo lucky to find a group of friends who have been there for me and I believe who will always have my back. I have been trying my best to point out to my 3 kids how special each of them are and why each one is special in their own way. I feel so very fortunate for the 3 children I have and to have the chance to correct what my mother taught me and let me kids know they are awesome just the way they are!!!!

  26. Jeanette Young says:

    From a mother who lost her 18 year old son 3 years ago, I can’t tell you what this meant to read it. Because now I do stop to think of those things knowing that in a moment they can be gone and you will never get them back until you meet up with them in Heaven. So to all you parents out there, PLEASE do what this says. I would give my soul to look in my sons eyes again, to see his beautiful smile, to hear his laugh, to feel his touch and too hold him in my arms for 1 second longer but I can’t so I  keep him close to my heart and love on and try to spend as much time with my babies who are still hear on earth with me . Yes my second son is almost 18 and my daughter will be 13 in 2 days and they probably get tired of me hugging them, kissing them and constantly telling them that I LOVE THEM but they allow me to do it and someday when they are parents they will know how much it means!!!!

  27. Keikikuddlerz says:

    AMEN! It isn’t about negelcting your home or responsibilities, but those will always be there! You are SO right! What the kids remember is the dedication you had to THEM, not keeping a spotless house. yes of course cleanliness has a place on the priority list. BWM is not suggesting you throw everything out the window for weeks on end. But if you can wash those dishes after the kids are in bed, and play with them while they are awake instead…..DO IT!

  28. Andromedastar1 says:

    I have done what the author of this article describes, and now that my daughter is 19, I do not regret one moment of lost housework….. I/We kept a reasonably clean home, but at a certain point we quit doing chores and HAD FUN!!! It is so worth it!!!I/we look back and remember all the wonderful times we had and it is so amazing!

  29. Maggieb says:

    We lost our Mom a little while age,A wonderful mother of seven children who lived her life this way…Sunday when we were small we would go out in my dads boat. We were always so excited,…We were not made to wait until the dishes were done or the house tidied up,,,we left to go and have our dayof fun. Thanks MOM

  30. Louise says:

    BEAUTIFUL!! 

    Well said! As parents, I think we forget about the small stuff! We strive to be the best moms or dads, protect our young with fierceness, defend them no matter what the circumstance and love them unconditionally. BUT, your post makes most of us remember to be parents our kids will appreciate & perhaps share with their young one day.
    THANK YOU for posting such an awesome blog! Smiles are always welcomed in my world! 

  31. Liluv41 says:

    This blog came to me at a much needed time in my life.  I have three children, ages 17, 4 and 2.  I find myself getting so mad about the house getting messed up after I’ve spent time sorting and cleaning and have been going around picking up after the little ones, yelling at them for making so many messes.  I need to stop all that madness and start painting, coloring, laughing, dancing, getting dinner onto the table late, splashing water during bathtime and HAVING FUN again!!!  I used to, and it’s like I forgot how to do it, I’m just the drill sargeant bossing everybody around all day.  No fun.  Thanks for the reminder to stop and be a kid with my kids again.

    • d blah says:

      There will be plenty of time for a perfectly clean and tidy home after the children have grown up and moved out.  (That is, providing that your first child – you know, the one you married? – cleans up after himself.)

  32. Laurelodonnell says:

    This is amazing! I am a 24 year old mom of 4 and it’s so hard to get everything done and still make tons of play time… Lately with my new baby I’ve been really struggling with it but reading this today has made me feel so much better… Yes our kids deserve a spotless house and a mom who can play on demand but In reality that’s just not possible… Sometimes we need to forget about our chores or trying to look perfect and just have fun with our kids 🙂 last time I checked my kids never cared about how my hair looked or what I was wearing just that I was there every time they needed me to be! Thank you so much for sharing this 🙂

  33. Kathy says:

    A different kind of neglect may result from keeping a spotless house… the emotional kind that occurs when a mom’s too obsessed with folded laundry, flawless meals, and spotless floors to get involved in her child’s life.  I grew up in a household like that – more institution than home.  
    Yes, she had her own unresolved issues and I know she did the best she knew how (no mother ever strives to be a bad parent.) But, believe me, there are worse things than dust and clutter. 

  34. Jlcolas731 says:

    I just stumbled on this blog and I love it!!  I have a three year old and I am constantly worrying about having everything “perfect” for him and the house and I do need to stop stressing.  This was a nice reminder!!!

  35. Amanda says:

    I read this post the other day. I cried and I laughed. I thought of you sitting at my childrens holiday concert the other night. My son, who is 5, took the stage with his class. His hands nervously clasped the bottom of his sweater. I saw him scan the audience. He did this several times. The whole time I was waving frantically but he could not spot me. I finally stood up, much to the dismay of those behind me. He saw me, our eyes met. He smiled and continued singing so much more relaxed.

  36. Crazymomjen says:

    Anyone who has any arguement to what you are trying to express in this is CRAZY!  You can’t disagree with any of it…and now, in 2011, most of us get it right on!!  Kids are growing and those of us who aren’t grabbing the moments, are going to be old nanas and pop pops, full of regret.  Thankfully I had the world’s most amazing mommy who taught me about this at  a young age, so I have been blessed to be that mama since day 1.  I read this with tears in my eyes, and will pray that every mom that may not do this on a given day, tries kneeling in the pile of dirt with the matchboxes.  Kids just want you!!  And yes, you can debate the “stuff” til youre blue in the face-but at the end of the day….your heart is full having given them you, and they, as adults, got what really means something, taking that into THEIR adult lives.  Backwood mom, I have eight too—our circus is insane, and crazy but such a blessing to what life is about.  Thank you for sharing!  I try to spread that in my blog too—“the little things, are life’s bigs”-  Were on google-The Hale Family-Just Gotta Laugh if you ever have a second 🙂  Thanks again!!  You have given us all the view of what a mommy should really be!! 

    • Yes, I am always surprised by negative comments on seemingly positive posts! I’m glad I’m not the only one juggling that many kids…such a crazy, fun life! I’ll Google your blog now…

  37. MyPointOfView says:

    This is a great post to help us gain a little perspective in life, even when one isn’t a parent.. However, I think some of the comments towards Teana are harsh. She is right on a few points as well as allowed to have a different point of view.

    It’s wonderful when a mother can raise her children not caring about material things, but unfortunately, those kids go to school with kids that care about having more stuff, doing more stuff, knowing more stuff.

    I think that in our society today bullying is becoming a big problem. Some great kids are facing it and some of them choose bad ways to end it. I have a big issue with that! Even here, all of you did just that – bullied Teana for expressing her point of view.

    • You should have seen the comments I edited out!!

    • sapperangel says:

      I totally agree… people were being a bit harsh towards teana…. yes it missed the point of the blog.. and too many people get on the band wagon that they can be better moms cause they are focused on the kids not the house… The fact of the matter is that each child is different.. one child may love spending the time outside in the dirt and fondly remember that… another maybe omg my mother forced me outside when i wanted to be baking/cooking/reading etc… she always wanted to be on the go and i just wanted some calm… yes mom was fun but the house never felt peaceful because it was too hectic and messy.. and weather its bullying or simply the desire to be different yes sometimes no matter how much our child wants the fancy stuff and to be like the spoiled kids we cant give them that.. or we cant give up enough stuff to give them that popular toy that everyone has… or my santa isnt as cool (rich) as Samanthas santa… but of course i throw every other parent that is able to buy electronics under the bus.. and tell my son that only the really special kids get toys made by the elves …  but more importantly.. my brother and i were raised by the same parents and yet remember our childhoods very differently.. he hated gardening.. i did it because it was necessary and there wasnt an option.. he fought my mother every step of the way… now he gardens out of passion.. i still garden because it is necessary… I remember our dad making a huge effort to join us at the beach even if he still had to make phone calls.. and that he took us skiing as often as possible.. my brother remembers him as a work-a-holic… no matter what path we take there is a pretty equal chance that we will be exactly what they wanted/needed as there is that they will wish we were exactly the opposite of what they wanted/needed… as parents we only do the best that we can do each day…

  38. Thaws says:

    My son is rather sick & I do my best to live our life like this! I want to say THANK YOU for writing this, it tremendously has eased some of the guilt I feel at times especially when I go to a friends house or hear other parents talking. THANK YOU AGAIN

  39. alwaysfam says:

    I love this!  THANK YOU!!!!  It is so hard for me to say “Yes” when the kids ask me to play.  But this is a reminder of why I should.  I needed to see this.  THANK YOU!!!

  40. Koverholtzer911 says:

    Laundry remains clean but unfolded. Dishes clutter an overburdened sink; others waiting to be liberated from the dishwasher. Today a little boy plays on the tracks laid while the chores were neglected. Read this wonderful piece and gained some perspective. The dishes will always be there; soon the little boy will not.

  41. Monicakaba says:

    Absolutely true! Love this post, is a good advice for everyone who cares about what their children think.

  42. Friday says:

    My son collects the blankets I have made for him.  an old blue denim one I got the fabric for free and the old buttons I put on it came from his great grandma.  The Orange fleece one because that is his favorite collar, the quilted one because I would roll the whole thing up and let him fling it over his shoulder as we went out the door. 
    Our house was in constent repair, the floors have never been redone, the siding is still a mess, the fence gate still tilts and it just didn’t matter.
    My kids are wash and wear.  Soap always works and my world hasn’t ended yet because my furniture is second hand with holes in it where the dogs teethed on them.  My daughters favorite outfit was a tie dye jumper and she wore it every day for months.  She thought I was the hero of the world when I took her beloved doll “Rosabell” apart, repainted her head, made new clothes, washed out the stains and put her all back together.  I didn’t throw her away.  She couldn’t have cared less about any other doll given to her.  
    They were proud of their mom made clothes and the cool hats we made every winter.  The year they decided to give santa a present instead of asking for anything told me, we did something right.

  43. Islacaiman says:

    Beautiful and simple writing from the heart! L-O-V-E_D  I-T!!!
    I really needed this reminder today. Thank you.

  44. Amandajbenson says:

    Coming from the daughter of a woman who didn’t want to get in the pool because she just dyed her hair, who spent her days cleaning, and never once got on the floor to play Barbies with me or let me get dirty, I appreciate this heartfelt posting so much. It’s not about a clean house or what we look like at the pool, it’s about treasuring those precious moments before they are gone. I wish I could say I remembered the things mentioned in this article. Although my mom was great in other ways, she missed out on SOOOO much that I will never take forgranted with my girls. Well said. 🙂

  45. i have a baby and i know even now when she wont remember i need to learn this lesson. i want her to remember that mom and dad did things with her and loved her. sometimes the house wasnt spotless but i always had time for her. 

  46. Rlgsheerin says:

    to bad for the negative comments.  I love this reminder.  I often have to stop myself while the kids are flying around and “nagging” me for this or that and I’m trying to get the dishes done and think about getting to work and everything that needs to be done and once in a while (i try for at least once a day) I live by these words and I remember……they just want my attention and love and we sit down and play a board game or sing and dance crazy in the living room…  It is so hard to remember ….then once you do it…you know your doing the right thing and you feel less stressed.  Great, great article <3

  47. kara blood says:

    Teana Thirkill– you are a sad, lonely,angry person to have read this wonderfully true rumination on childhood and to have taken something negative from it.  As someone who has worked in recreation settings with children for years, and had ex-campers come up to me at events and tell me what climbing the mountain and making the cookout fire meant to them, I can assure you that this woman is right on.  Well said, backwoodsmom.

  48. Ted Sheckler says:

    Great blog, BW Mom!

  49. PAirish says:

    I loved this article! Thank you for sharing. And to everyone tempted to respond to ‘Teana”, don’t waste your time. People like that thrive on negative attention. She probably is checking this atricle every hour to see if people are responding to what she said. Don’t give her the satisfaction.

  50. RImom says:

    Crying, because it is so true…my parents did all of these wonderful things with me and as I stress out about how the house looks this holiday seasong or how long the laundry basket full of clothes has been sitting on my living room floor and whether or not I’ll get to it after pulling off a 60 hour work week, what does matter is spending what little time I have with my daughter while I’m here with her.

  51. lvbeingoutdoors! says:

    I thought this article was wonderful!!!!!!!! So much so I passed it on. 

  52. amanda mccandliss says:

    This is a bright spot on the internet. Love it. 🙂

  53. Moomeevaldez says:

    Beautifully written! As mamas with a list of “to do’s” this will remind me to enjoy my childrens childhood just as much as they will! 😀

  54. Vmc925alt says:

    I love this!  We should all read this every single ornng when we wake up. 

  55. Red's Wrap says:

    Your stuff is absolutely, positively terrific to read.  LOVE IT.

  56. Brelza says:

    But how? I get what is said here. I really do but I find myself completely unable to let things go without frustration. My husband is “the fun one” and I’m the boring one who provides clean clothes and lots of great cooking. Not to mention the checking of school assignments and singing of papers

    • Rlgsheerin says:

      you just do it….you just sit down for 10-20 min and play.  I too work full time and am trying to start my own business as well…my place just doesn’t look the way i wish it did…BUT as soon as you stop and just be with them…..the stress leaves and you know you’re doing the right thing!

    • Jodi says:

      Brelza, it sounds as if we are in something of a similar situation. I come from a not so great emotional background and never learned how to play and am very glad my children have both my husband and myself in their lives to balance each other out. That being said, I also know I need to spend more time playing with them, so one thing I do is set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes. Psychologically, I know that I will have an “out” when the bell rings, and the kids understand that I will need to move on to something else … but we are usually enjoying ourselves so much we keep going after the time is up. It is difficult to put aside the schedule and work, and frustrating to know you aren’t doing what you should — and want — to be doing with your kids,  but the timer idea has really worked for me.

  57. Joy Stewart says:

    I loved it and now i will try to do the same

  58. Kelley says:

    What is that in someone’s hand’s? 

  59. Coralops says:

    @google-11c9c1d0abb980dccaa49608d1b8072f:disqus -wow you must have had a miserable childhood if that’s what you took away from it.  I remember the smell of brownies when I came home from school, and the water fights during gardening, that mum was always home when we got home from school, dad helping me with homework and everything they went without so we kids could have more.  And all the kids LOVED my mom- they flocked to her……this is about what kids remember of their parents not the spoilt brats at school that were obviously raised poorly.  In addition to the “Thumper” theory we were taught (‘if ya can’t say something’ nice, don’t say nutting’ at all!), we were taught (in later life) “Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, then to speak and remove all doubt.”.  Two lessons you should perhaps learn even this late in life.

  60. Mycabin says:

    teana, I think you may have missed the point. It sounds like you maty have been neglected in your childhood for which I am sorry.
    Backwoods mom (my daughter by the way) does not send her kids to school dirty nor ungroomed. They are not subject to teasing or bulling. Actually they are very popular at their school. She just meant, relax a bit and enjoy your kids. do things with them and spend time with them. That is what they will remember about their childhood. They will know they are loved.

    • momof2boys says:

      Exactly…the whole point was to slow down and enjoy your children instead of trying to be the “perfect” mom.  I loved this blog, it’s a great reminder to not get caught up in your big “to-do” list, and just stop and have fun with your children.

    • Debbie Sercely says:

      Backwoods Grandma!  Thank you for raising such a kind, generous, and open-hearted woman.   I know you’re proud of her.  🙂

  61. Themorrillfamily09 says:

     Oh my gosh, I found this blog from a friend on facebook. I really enjoyed what you had to say it has really opened my mind to what I need to do with my children. So We are not doing home work tonight.. We are going to see SANTA!

  62. Beverlyrharris says:

    Gee Teana, spell much?

  63. Tracy says:

    Oh, how I love this. Learning to let the dishes pile up and the dog hair waft by takes some getting used to, but it’s so worth it.

  64. Jenn Gorrie says:

    love this!!

  65. Stoneg8mom says:

    Teana Thirkill, you are mean spirited and cruel.  Apparently, your mother never taught you that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.

  66. Chellehankinson says:

    This is something that all parents need to be reminded of on a daily basis. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  67. Lks says:

    I could read this each month.  So good!  Especially at this time of year!

  68. Stickykissesblog says:

    Oh I love this.  I actually got a little choked up.  Thank you for the reminder

  69. spenceli says:

    Thanks for the reminder!

  70. Teana Thirkill says:

    Unfortunately, thier friends will remember long enough to make their life miserable at school because their cloths were ripped and dirty and your hair wasn’t combed when you dropped them off at school. They will be teased and bullied because they’re different. That they will remember…. and they will remember why!

    • Briannarenee1988 says:

      Wow…no, whwn they grow up, what they remember is who’s mom coaches baseball and actually made it fun, or let them et nasty in the ditch when they spent the night, n washed there clothes before they sent them home the next day…she didnt say never make ur kids bathe, wash there clothes, or brush there teeth…it says “every once in a while” n is completely true!!!! <3

    • Penny McEntee says:

      Wow.  I wonder who were the teased and bullied at your school.  You, perhaps?   I bet these kids know how to spell  “their”.  You should have spent more time learning at school and less teasing.  
      Love this warm, heartfelt posting.

    • TwinMom says:

      My mom was this mom. My friends didn’t care. Because my mom taught me to make friends with people who love me for me and not for how cool I am. Please teach your children to do the same, otherwise I fear that they will be the ones making some other child’s life miserable. Just because you were scared to be different.

    • Lbcoyote says:

      Teana, yes, there are those kids too.  But what you are describing is neglect, not the passion for life and children that the author is describing.  I can say I am that mom, the laundry is rarely folded, but I haven’t missed a game, a performance, a speech.  My son is strong and confident, and he knows how very loved he is. I am the house where the kids spend the night, or even come to just hang for a few days. Now that my son is almost an adult, I don’t regret once not always folding my laundry or having a messy home.  It’s well lived and well loved. The important thing is, we have so many wonderful memories.  I wish that for you, Teana, many wonderful, warm and spontaneous memories.  

    • Kodaminny says:

      Wow it’s parents like you Teana that the kids’ dont’ remember all the fun stuff parents do with their children. She wasn’t saying to send the kids to school like that. Lighten up a bit and have some fun with your children! They will thank you for it when they are older!

    • d blah says:

       This OP is saying, in effect, “Lay not up for yourselves treasure upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, where thieves break through and steal”.   When the time is appropriate, let the extraneous stuff wait, it will always be there waiting.  She’s saying be more Mary than Martha, because time goes by and your children will only be small once, and then that opportunity is gone – enjoy the time you have with them while you can.  I love the posting as well – it is a wonderful reminder.

      Teana, bullies in school will always find something to pick on,  regardless of how spic and span victims’ parents may present themselves and their children.  (How many countless families have gone into financial ruin trying to present themselves as more than they really are?  Is presenting a false front more important?)  Bullies learn reprehensible behavior from their own parents’ attitudes and catty remarks.  Victims of people like yourself will remember, and remember why as well!

    • Kelly says:

      where in there does it say anything about neglecting your kids? it talks about meeting their needs and ignoring less important things like making sure your own hair is perfectly coiffed.

    • 4kidsinchicago says:

      Ok, I’m definitely the mom who heads up teams and clubs at school and has everyone over for sleepovers, housecleaning is not my area of expertise.  I have wondered if my lack of covering the details (like fighting over the brushing of hair) might have this type of result on my kids.  It sounds to me like Teana had this experience as a kid and holds it against her mother.  I’m sure this kind of thing happens and the kids probably don’t have the confidence to stand up for themselves if it does.  Teana, there are a million shades of gray between enjoying your kids while they’re young and not sweating the details and sleeping on the couch with a half drunk beer watching reality tv and letting the kids fend for themselves.  I believe the author is speaking of the former.  Perhaps if your mom leaned toward the latter there were weightier issues like depression or who knows what else that lead to your mom’s behavior.  Maybe as an adult you can find a way to forgive her.

  71. Robin says:

    Thanks for sharing again….I passed this around the first time I read it, because I loved it and I needed to hear it. Thanks for sharing your talent!

  72. April Collins says:

    AMEN!!! I could not possibly agree more. 

  73. Lrbassmom says:

    Thanks for the reminder!

  74. Vieho1 says:

    All so very true..life can be sooo good, if you let it..its a choice thing.

  75. Katrina says:

    This is all so true!  Thank you for this gentle reminder this morning. My kids are growing up   quickly and I do not want to waste precious time on things that they will not remember!  

    Another mom of “many”…
    Katrina in CA
    They All Call Me Mom

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

213,920 Spam Comments Blocked so far by Spam Free Wordpress