I Remember Her

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I remember the way her hair smelled when I tucked her in under my arm.  How she snuggled so close, trying to crawl back into the womb from which she did not come. I can feel her fragile arms wrapped around mine, her tiny beating heart pulsing against my side as she lay her soft cheek on my chest and held on for life.

I mean I can feel her.

I see her sparkling eyes just weeks after she came as her failing body was nourished.  How she ate and smiled and grew. I see her mouth spread  and her eyes widen at the site of food. I remember her asleep at the kitchen table, chicken leg wrapped in one tiny hand, satisfaction across her face.

I hear her slurred speech, her warped words, her beautiful broken voice soar with glee because she was simple and the most basic  things brought her such peace.

I feel her sweet breath against my face when she whispered in my ear that she loved me.  Her desperate hands clutching my shoulders like it was a pivotal moment in time that we both needed to remember.  And I do.

I remember every moment of the two years she was with us.  I remember the way my soul felt the day I had to give her back.  

And how it aches still.

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3 Responses to "I Remember Her"
  1. Punky_jean says:

    I have read alot of your posts and this one more than any other just absolutely broke my heart. I am so glad that God has placed you on this earth to help these precious babies have even a few moments peace and love with someone. I will pray for you and this little girl forever.

  2. Meagan B says:

    I’m sure my parents felt the same way, they were foster parents too. Heart breaking.

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