Every kid in my house is a constant reader…though four of them have, or have had at some time, a reading disability. They didn’t start out as readers…and it took some effort…but I did it. And it was strategically planned from my very first child.
Bedtime in my house is strictly ritualistic. My kids need structure more than most…it’s simply a fact of their histories. In the school year we begin at eight o’clock and usually…I repeat usually…they are all in the covers within thirty minutes. They take turns in the bathroom (that’s a whole other story), say their goodnights, and adjourn to their separate bedrooms.
And they all have two things in common. They always go to bed without arguing. And they always read.
This is because from the very beginning of their lives…or at least from their very first day in my home…we’ve stuck to one solid bedtime rule.
You can go to sleep or you can read. Those are your only two options. Period. I say that out loud to the new kids, over and over, until it sets in. You can go to sleep or you can read. Those are your only two options.
Now think about it…how many kids LOVE to go to sleep? Not that many. When given the option of sleeping, or picking up a book, 99 percent of the time, they will pick up that book. It can be a magazine…as is in the case of Billy who even when he could barely read was memorizing technical articles in Four Wheel Off-Road magazine…or a novel, or even Dr. Seuss, depending on the kid…but if it has words and pages, it qualifies as ‘reading’ in my house.
I’ve had many a kid who hated to read, or at least claimed they did. Some will rebel against the rule the first few nights and I cheerfully say, “That’s fine. Goodnight!” and I turn out their light. And they flip around in their beds until they are so bored out of their minds…because it’s only 8:30…that they eventually will give in and turn the light back on so they can grab a book.
The really stubborn ones will try to argue. “Well can I draw a picture?” Nope. “Can I just lay here with my light on?” Nope. “Can I…” Nope. You can go to sleep or you can read. Those are your only two options.
So every single night, without fail, winter or summer, the go to bed and read. And read…and read some more. Because kids hate to sleep! And since a kid is going to fight sleeping no matter what, we may as well get something positive out of it!
From there each kid has different rules. For many years I would shut their lights off around 9:30…at which point they’ve gotten in at least an hour of reading and are being educated without their knowledge. Sneaky, I know. But eventually I let certain kids read later and later, depending on the kid and his “wake-up” habits. If I’ve got a kid who wakes up on his own and gets ready for school without a problem, I’d let them read later. If I’ve got a kid who is like waking the dead (i.e. Billy) I’d turn their lights out earlier.
But at some point I noticed something. Children will regulate themselves if they HAVE to. It only takes so many horrible, tired, groggy days, before a twelve year old is going to figure out that they need to sleep more. At which point, they will learn how to regulate their own sleep habits…and turn out their lights when they are ready.
I experimented with this for a while and eventually…are you ready? My kids have NO lights out time. Nope. Not even on school nights.
And so my kids read. Even the ones I’ve had…who cannot read at all. And never will. They hold books. They look at the words. And they feel ‘normal’…like all the other kids. And some of it…I’m sure of it…sinks in.
It all started when Robin was in fourth grade. Robin…partly because of being born addicted to drugs and partly because of environmentally stunted early childhood development…did not read well. To say the least. But sometime around the middle of fourth grade her teachers noticed she was tired a lot. We had a conference, discussed putting her on some medications to help her focus, talked about her as if she wasn’t there, until one of us finally asked her, “Robin, why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’ve been reading at night,” she said quietly, as if she would be in trouble.
“Robin, you can’t turn your lights back on once I turn them off!” I told her.
Her fourth grade teacher leaned over…thrilled that she was finally reading…and whispered in her ear, “Robin, I’m going to buy you a flashlight…so you can read all night long.”
And so it was.
And now, three years later, Robin reads three inch thick novels. Reads continually. Reads at an advanced level. And sometimes she’s tired in the morning. But against what the specialists told us…she reads.
And she does this because she could either go to sleep or she could read. Those were her only two options.
As a side note,as I finished this blog just now and Destini walked in, I said, “I wrote a blog called “Why My Kids Read”…and she said:
“You mean because we can either go to bed or we can read….those are our only two options?”
I’m NOT making this up! hahahaaa I just about died laughing…I guess they DO listen!
