Author: Bmom

  • A Home In The Mountains

    Grandpas Resting place We came to this land in June of this year, in the midst of a heatwave. We thought we could make a home from the dust but we left after less than two weeks, frustrated. Our plans foiled.  Maybe it wasn’t time yet. Maybe we wimped out. And so we left. For…

  • South From Alaska

    We drove south from Alaska near the end of May this year on a whim. Maybe I’m just tired of the winters. The darkness gets to me. Or maybe it’s just a classic mid-life crisis and the husband and I have sunk at the same time. Because in April when I said, “Let’s go south,”…

  • Stalk The Six Door!

    Tell us where you spotted us and share your photo in the comments! When an entire group of people standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon stopped, turned, and as a group began photographing my truck, I began to think, “Perhaps a huge advertising opportunity is being overlooked…”   And since thousands of people have…

  • A Room With No View

    Destini and Robin…ready for anything… I hate those arrogant ‘update’ blogs. As if the world is waiting, on the edge of their seat, to learn the fate of that once frequent blogger who mysteriously went AWOL from the Facebook feed. But alas…here I lie, tapping away at the keyboard. So much to say… so little…

  • What They Did To Me Bum…

    If you’ve not been following the sage of the bear/boys/bum injury, here’s a couple of links: Bear In The Back Woods Cruisin’ For A Bruisin’ Last week I went in for an MRI at the request of our local clinic doc here in Ninilchik who took one look at this bruising and said, “How long…

  • Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’

    For the record…I don’t know how to get my blog to stop showing you TWO of the same picture in each post. Sorry. I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, there is a tall mirror in Robin’s room because, well, she’s seventeen and that is required.  And we have a small hand mirror…

  • Bear In The Backwoods

    The scene… My two boys gathered blueberries from their secret patch near the road. Jars filled, they headed back towards the cabin, Anthony leading the way. Just before the sawmill, Anthony heard a loud noise rustling through the brush. Steven, behind him, startled at the noise and looked up to the face of a brown…

  • Fishing For Elders –

    Yesterday the kids and I found ourselves on the Ninilchik beach helping pull king salmon from the water to feed some of the village elders. Here on this same beach many years back, the natives of Ninilchik built fish traps and pulled nets much like us, feeding their families before there were grocery stores to…

  • May 17, 2014

    After spending six months pretending we were on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, the adjustment back to cabin life has been a bit of shell shock. Frozen water pipes and batteries didn’t help to ease us back into the woods with grace, but rather encouraged tantrums and big-baby-fits by all. We’ve since gotten the…

  • My Kids Aren’t Learning Anything

    “Mom, I need some more language arts worksheets printed,” said my nearly 15 year old this morning, who needs her world aligned at all times or she gets frantic. Order, structure, neatly stapled packets are a dream come true and the chance to organize canned foods makes her heart go pitter-patter. “We’re not doing any…

  • Where We Are

    It’s February 20, 2014. I’m sitting on a barstool on an island, sipping a non-fat vanilla latte, casually, as if I’ve done this before.  And I don’t wanna go home. Upon arrival on the coastal islands of Texas (who knew Texas had islands?) I knew I would love this place. Long beaches, scarcely used in…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 2-16-2014

    Cutie Birds on the Boardwalk SISTERS! Sunset Pelican Steven Skates the Bowl Luke…the reason they make helmets… Robin wanted to try skating… But her skateboard didn’t want to play… Anthony HAWK rides again… Anthony Hawk…trying to live up to his namesake And not quite making it… No Riley’s participated in the making of this awesome…

  • On The Road From Concan

    This morning the kids and I planned to wake early and leave our little cabin up the Frio River here in Texas. Yesterday we packed the pop-up, cleaned up the cabin completely, and left out only our duffle bags and breakfast food. Upon waking, I encountered a site that the family, as a whole, has…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 01-05-2014 –

    Placerita Canyon, California at the “waterfall”. Not. Kids had their FIRST ICE CREAM TRUCK EXPERIENCE! And learned about false advertising… Went swimming the day after Christmas…that’s just weird. Kids and cousins sporting their “Grammy Jammy’s”! Robin We took a subway at Union Station in downtown L.A. That was an experience… Universal Studies “City Walk” We…

  • Bison Of British Columbia

    I’ve actually got nothing funny to say about today…which is good news since that means nothing bad happened. Good for us, bad for entertainment value. It’s late, we drove about 13 hours today through windy, mountainous, freezing, roads and we’re tired. We drove, we ate, we watched me cower behind the truck while a buffalo…

  • Fragments Of Sanity

    It was just before noon on a Monday morning, sometime in the fall of 1988, in Phoenix, Arizona.  I stood in my pale blue polo shirt behind the counter at Dairy Queen, my breast milk dampening the front of my uniform.  My baby girl was somewhere across town in a basement apartment with some sitter…

  • Lost In Translation

    (If you’ve seen the animated movie, “UP”, you’ll enjoy this. If not, it might be really pointless to read!) Today we sat in our attorney’s office with our ten year old son, preparing him for his upcoming adoption hearing.  The attorney sat across the large desk from the small boy, Dan and I on either…

  • Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch…

    Today on Johnson Lake I think often of this site…ideas for improvement flitting through my head, one-liners jotted down in yellow notebooks, good intentions paving the road to nowhere. And then life slams me back into reality as the land of the midnight sun has us attempting to complete a year worth of work in…

  • Life…and Death…on a Farm

    We were lounging in the cabin Saturday evening, arguing over whether MASH dvds were worth generator fuel, when my husband stood to stretch, glanced out the window, and bolted for the door yelling, ‘The dogs have the goats!” He supermanned off the front porch, shoeless, while I screamed at the dogs in my most commanding…

  • FISH! FISH! FISH!

    For many Alaskans, “summer” means three things for sure…fish, fish and fish!  We dip, catch, and net fish…we clean, cut, can, freeze and smoke fish…we eat fish, love fish and sometimes we smell like fish. At least Destini does after logging over 136 hours at the processing plant in the past two weeks. She smells…

  • Life On A Boat

    Last night some random stranger invited my niece Amy and I on an evening boat ride around the Ventura, California Harbor. Sure, complete stranger on a dark and secluded dock, I’ll get in your boat and float away to who knows where…that seems smart. And so I climbed aboard. (Hey, he was wealthy, attractive and…

  • The Sinkhole of Depression

    I don’t know when it started, for sure. The feeling of not feeling.  A few months, maybe more. But without warning, without any clear signs it was even happening, I lost myself for a while.  I don’t remember when I stopped being me. Or exactly when everything dimmed.  Just suddenly, I was dark. But nothing…

  • Remembering The Backwoods

    Ever since we left Alaska to winter in California a couple weeks ago I’ve been getting message after message…                 “What about the cabin? Are you going back??? The cabin. My nemesis. My love.  It strikes me I’ve not written the details of how our place works and maybe I’m a tad homesick. So here…

  • Near Death By Bacon –

    Yesterday I stabbed myself in the hand. Not just stabbed, but sawed, really, while cutting bacon. I knew bacon would be the death of me, I just didn’t realize I would go like this. I’ve never had stitches unless you count childbirth (ouch) nor have I broken a bone.  So my kids thought it hilarious…

  • Dreams Delayed

    People always remember, with clarity, the moment their lives changed. I remember the moment mine didn’t. In the spring of ’03 I had just finished up the third year of my writing degree at Linfield College. My fellow students were planning their summer vacations, jobs, going home to a family. I was raising one. One…

  • California Adventure Week Two –

    Yesterday Luke saw two black widows and a lizard…he has had enough of California and is ready to go home now.  Actually, he thought the lizard was a scorpion…time for Alaska boy to get a desert education. Grandma’s house has been great. She lives in a guarded gate community which is nice because the kids…

  • New Babies! »

      About an hour ago our dogs began to bark like crazy. I yelled to Mya to go find out what they were barking at and she comes screaming back towards the house… “PICA HAD A BABY, PICA HAD A BABY!” Sure enough, we have a baaa-ing baby girl and perhaps another on the way. …

  • Six Seconds »

    I stood in line at a Carl’s Junior restaurant in Palm Desert, California, eager to order my Chicken Fried Steak sandwich and strawberry shake. Sixteen years old, pregnant but not yet showing, my parents had whisked me away from hometown shame and embarked on a sudden cross country trip. A modern day escape from ruination….

  • You Aint Dead! »

    Once on an episode of COPS, a woman, upon being arrested, was throwing a Made-For-TV tantrum when her mother, giant breasts sagging out the sides of her tank top, cigarette hanging from one side of her mouth, drawled, “Shut up girl…you aint dead.” You aint dead. And ever since, when things are tough or one…

  • This Blog Is Not Real »

    Last night a young lady with a history much like my children’s wrote me a message and asked for advice.  But before she asked, she spent several paragraphs telling me why she wasn’t worthy of my time.  “…as if reading your blog somehow makes me worthy of placing myself in your life,” she said. As…

  • Into The Woods »

    Winter has finally succumbed to spring here in south central Alaska, though that is debatable since we are forecasted to get snow on Friday.  But most of the snow has given away to mucky mud and for some reason we are all excited to see it.   I’ve emerged from hibernation ten pounds heavier, lethargic…

  • Frozen Assets »

    This afternoon I drove down to HOOKED ESPRESSO here in Ninilchik, Alaska.  Hooked is the coffee shop owned by my teen daughter, Destini. (Read about that HERE and this story will make a lot more sense.) I’ve not been down to Hooked in several months though I’ve driven by a thousand times. Destini is closed…

  • September 22, 2012 »

    My lantern oil just dimmed to nothing and left me in complete darkness but for the glow of my laptop and the internet box blinking green to my right. I see the hazy glow of Luke’s flashlight bouncing as he walks back in from the outhouse and another in the hall where Anthony pulls a…

  • Pre-Cabin Fever »

    This is not going to be well written, of that I am sure. It’s late at night, I’m tired, and I have computer access for just a short time. I apologize ahead of time… The past few weeks have been very stressful.  We left behind our 7 bedroom home, moved completely out, cleaned it spotless…

  • And On The Seventh Day… »

    Even God rested one day a week, or so I reminded Dan this morning as we made our list of “to-do” things during breakfast. He’s home just two weeks at a time, then gone again for two or more.  So when he’s home, it seems we do a lot of running and make little progress….

  • South From Alaska –

    I was born a nomad.  In my forty-two years I have lived in 18 different homes in four different states and yet I feel like I’ve been stationary my whole life. My feet get the urge to wander and my family knows it’s time when I start thinning my belongings to a manageable heap. So…

  • Locked and Unloaded –

    I’m not an avid gun handler. I mean, I grew up lugging around a BB gun and could take out a Budweiser bottle as well as any filthy boy next door. I blew away ant hills and sabotaged unsuspecting spruce hen deep in the woods of Alaska late in the fall of my childhood. But…

  • Things I Don’t Tell You

    Me today…and how I look 98% of the time. The other day on my Facebook page, I commented something about having a bad day.  A reader replied, saying she was relieved I was having a bad day because it seemed like I always knew what to do…or something like that. I laughed out loud…shook my…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 6-23-13

    Since I’ve neglected Scenic Sunday for a while…this is a super-sized version with several weeks all wrapped up in one! Lucky you! Anthony built himself a folding ladder… The girls finally finished the fire pit… And we used the heck out of the fire pit… Pluto hit her “terrible two-weeks”… Billy brought his new pup…

  • A Moostacle Course!

    We spent most of the day trapped in the house by two friendly bull moose who just don’t realize that next Fall, they may be dinner.  The mistake is, when they are babies they are so darn cute that we just ignore them…don’t try to scare them off. Well eventually they grow up and become,…

  • Aurora Borealis March 2013

    Robin and I trudged through the cemetery in Ninilchik, Alaska in the week hours of the night on St. Patrick’s Day 2013 to achieve these pictures.  The auroras were floating directly above, to the north, south, east and west. They were everywhere. Robin lay in the snow on her back, reaching her hand up to…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 1-20-13

    Ninilchik, Alaska beach in winter…brrrrrr Beezy playing in the snow… Ice on the beach…. A rare sighting of a bull, mama and baby moose… Bull in the back yard… The boys loving art lessons… Boys trying on their new beard hats gifted them by a wonderful blog reader… Anthony’s first oil painting lesson with grandma…

  • Child of a Child »

    I was just two weeks into motherhood when I took a job at the Dairy Queen on 28th drive and Cactus in Phoenix, Arizona and made the first of many bad parenting choices.  A few days past my seventeenth birthday, I was still fresh from prom nights, backseats and football games, not quite ready for…

  • Stalactites Of Winter

    When winter blends in to the fall that precedes And darkness consumes us and sunlight recedes Tall spears of ice, from the roofs edge they dangle Nearly to ground—a precarious angle.  ~ Through winters of wonder, they magically hold Till summer comes closer and Christmas grows old Near April the ice swords, wet, shiny round…

  • Blockbuster Babies

    My daughter Destini wrote this for a class this year…I thought it was really good so I thought I’d share. Destini is eighteen years old and a senior in high school.                 In most cases, “you’re going to have a new sibling” is a surprising, exciting, interesting, unusual experience…

  • Adoption Pending »

    He came to us in the summer, four years ago with a chip on his shoulder, a mouth with no filter, and a yearning for something solid.  Just six years old, he’d seen things…oh yes, he’d seen some things.   The parents’ rights have been terminated.  The threat of reunification is long past and his memories…

  • Settling In To Cabin Life

    My lantern oil just dimmed to nothing and left me in complete darkness but for the glow of my laptop and the internet box blinking green to my right. I see the hazy glow of Luke’s flashlight bouncing as he walks back in from the outhouse and another in the hall where Anthony pulls a…

  • Fuller Lakes Trail »

    It was noon on a sunny summer day last June when Dan and I decided on the spur of the moment to hike in to Fuller Lakes Trail near Cooper Landing, Alaska. We’d driven by the spot a thousand times but never had we explored what was beyond the steep steps rising from the side…

  • This Is My Land »

    It was more than forty years ago that my in-laws, just after giving birth to their seventh child (my husband) purchased an acre of land. An escape, they said, from the L.A. life they found themselves living. Bud worked the assembly line at General Motors in Van Nuys, and Patricia worked in a medical office. …

  • Our Fearless Leader

    This is not going to be well written, of that I am sure. It’s late at night, I’m tired, and I have computer access for just a short time. I apologize ahead of time… The past few weeks have been very stressful.  We left behind our 7 bedroom home, moved completely out, cleaned it spotless…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 8-12-2012

    Found a couple of caribou on the side of the road… Attended Salmon Stock at the Kenai Peninsula Fairgrounds… Worked on the floor and wall boards for the cabin…we have almost sawmilled enough boards to finish floor… Moved the chicken/goat house from the old house… Pushed the chicken/goat house into it’s new location… Transported chickens…

  • Boys In The Backwoods… »

    I don’t remember being covered in bruises, blood and broken skin on a daily basis as a child…perhaps that is the key difference between little girls and little boys.  Then again, the way I used to roll my 3-wheeler down every dirt hill within miles, it’s rather surprising I made it through my eleventh year…

  • Against All Odds »

    Found in Cooper Landing, Alaska…fighting it’s way thru the asphalt “Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature’s law is wrong it learned to walk with out having feet Funny it seems, but keeping it’s dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air Long live the rose that…

  • Battle Scars

    Robin the week she came to us…what’s not to love, right?! Tonight while making dinner, the boys were swapping scar stories, as boys do. Steven showed off a rugged mark of a playground fall and Luke talked about a scrape from an old porch board.  Anthony nodded his head forward to show them one in…

  • Revival–by Anthony

    It’s about 11:30 at night and Anthony just knocked on my bedroom door to show me a poem he’d written.  This work will make more sense if you’ve read other things about or by Anthony.  See a list of links at the bottom of this page.  Here’s what he handed me… My memories are broken……

  • Father’s Day »

     With Father’s Day upon us, I’ve spent some time trying to put together a piece about what makes a “father” become a “dad”.  I’ve scribbled down some poetic mumbo-jumbo.  I’ve come up with some passable ideas.  But the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became, wondering…what is the definition of a good…

  • Another Mother

    I’m sitting here at 11 p.m. the night before Mother’s Day.  Anthony, age 11, is here with me. He’s sleeping on the couch tonight so we’re talking. I asked him what he thinks about on Mother’s Day in regards to his birth family. As he spoke, I typed word for word (my kids are used…

  • Backwoods Bees »

    When I was a kid in Kasilof, Alaska, there was a honey store about a mile down the road. We’d pedal down there, present our quarter, and get a sample of honey such that I’ve not tasted since.  This year, as we move onto our off-grid property and make an attempt at becoming more self…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 3-18-12

    This week in my life… “Go ahead…try to get to your truck.” “Going somewhere?” Icicle…cheaper than a chew toy. Spoiled “Hint…hint…” New Mama…my fridge is full of baby bottles. There’s a goat in my kitchen…that’s normal. Young moose blocking Destini’s trip to her car… And Dan and Robin chasing the moose away with the first…

  • Sixteen and Profitable »

    Someday I hope to live child-free. And in order see that fantasy happen, I have to get them out of my house…independent…living on their own.  And to achieve that goal, I must teach them how to support themselves, so they don’t come back and live in my basement with their six children and deadbeat spouse. …

  • At The End Of The Trail »

    As I sit in the Alaska dark, waiting for Spring, I can feel the grit beneath my nails, the sweat across the back of my neck and the ache of my arms after a day in the woods.  The course skin of hands, dry and stiff from the leather of my gloves, the grain of…

  • Without A Paddle »

    Sandi and I had escaped, kid free…which says a lot considering between us we have twelve children…and were laughing our way across Tustumena lake headed for Nikolai Creek to spot some grizzly bears through our telephotos. We intended to stake out the creek until dark if we had to, just for the perfect shot.  Photo,…

  • Just Another Scenic Sunday 1/22/12

    witnessed beauty on the Kenai River… This week in my life I… Made friends with this guy… Took the boys out woodcutting…(that’s right…bravely sharing my outdoor hair…) …wore them…er..me…out… Got into the groove of home schooling… Learned valuable survival skills…at the expense of some bunnies…:-( And discovered that hunting…is NOT Luke’s thing!

  • My Overcoming One »

    The tiny boy with the bright blue eyes Looked up and said to me Can I live here a long, long time? Three months, if you’d agree. Three months? I said, to the blue eyed boy That isn’t long you see, For an eight year old to have a mom… A dad…a family. He looked…

  • Robin Wonders »

    I rarely talk with my long term kids about their early childhood in front of the other kids.  For some reason I’ve always hesitated…I didn’t really know why.  But one day I told the story of when Mya was a toddler and she was afraid of the moon outside her bedroom window.  We all had…

  • I Am Mom…Do I Work? »

    Last year my daughter was assigned to interview a person about their job for school.  She asked, “Can I interview my mom?” “Does she work?” asked the teacher. Hmmmm…do I work… For the better part of my adult life I’ve been at home with my kids.  I don’t have a ‘job’.  I don’t get a…

  • Damn Her |

    A while back I had Billy into the local clinic for a sports physical.  The doctor scanned his chart, did some quick work with his stethoscope, and said, “How long has it been since he has seen the heart specialist?” “A few years,” I said.  “They told me it was nothing to worry about.” “You…